Strong Medicine Mom: WIW May 13

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Hello all. I'm actually going to post today, crazy right?

I feel like I'm in a constant state of heightened anxiety now so sitting down to write has been difficult. Any second spent away from boards studying is a second wasted - I hate to admit that I'm starting to get panicky with only 4 weeks left. (+ another one before USMLE). I'm starting to have all those familiar feelings I had prior to the MCAT: Why didn't I start earlier (because I was still in class...)? Why didn't I do more practice throughout the year? I should push back my exam dates (nope, not possible). Can I get a career change, please?! (Good luck paying back all those loans...).

Panic!

I just over here waiting to have a breakthrough in my studying - the moment when I know enough at one single time to do comfortably well. My boards prep is being dictated by a mandatory program provided by my school - quite frankly I'm ready to get that over with. I do appreciate the structure of the program but many of those resources leave me less than satisfied. I find myself referring to the "classic" resources more and more (First Aid, Pathoma, & Q banks). None of this is remotely interesting unless you are in med school so I will make a boards specific post a priority.

Weigh in time.

Height: 5'8"

SW: 236.2

Last Week: 189.6 (was the same last week)

This week: 188

Change: -1.6

Total Loss: -48.2

At least I can say ONE thing is going well. I'm slowly making progress again - I feel like I'm losing FAT (not just weight) which is largely due to lifting & Crossfit. I haven't been running since my races two weeks ago (yup...still haven't done a recap of that either). I'm eating MORE than I ever have while "dieting/cutting/weight losing" - anywhere from 1800-2100 calories a day. Now my challenge is making sure those calories are HIGH quality, real foods. I still struggle with making good choices but for the most part, things are pretty healthy.

Chili stuffed peppers, green beans, roasted veggies, sweet potato.

Tacos on corn tortillas (which I promptly ate around because corn tortillas aren't good)

Random lunch - roasted brussel sprouts & taco contents.

I never thought I would be the girl who actually looks forward to working out but here I am. Gym time is the most peaceful and wonderful part of my day. I'm hitting new PRs and starting to feel like maybe I belong in the gym (instead of feeling like a big ninny who doesn't know what they are doing). This week I started a new program to do on non-Crossfit days from a book a purchased a year or two ago - New Lifting Rules for Women. I will let you all know how it goes and if it is sustainable with Crossfit training.

I'm not someone who is 100% committed to one activity - I have to switch things up which is why you'll never see me running 5 days a week or doing Crossfit every day like some people. But I am willing to do SOMETHING more days than not. Now it's about trying to figure out the best way to do this while still allowing for adequate recovery and growth.