It's been a while since I've written about life in any coherent fashion so here it is! A summation of life as I know it....

Married Life
I have nothing but good things to report about married life! Without the distraction of planning a wedding and conducting a long-distance relationship, this area of my life is sooooo much better than last year. When people ask how married life is going, Nick and I tell them we are just really good roommates. Seriously, best roommates ever! I love waking up and seeing him every morning and I get excited to see him when he comes home from work. Hopefully he feels the same :)

At first, I thought that not much had changed in our relationship since getting married. We pay bills together (sorta...since I live on fake money) and we see each other a lot more than before. That's about it. We're still the same people, right?

Once I start to reflect, I realize that our relationship has changed drastically. We've never lived together so there have certainly been some adjustments & bumps along the way (mostly about hanging towels up properly or cleaning methods) but nothing of anything consequence.

When I first started med school, we attended a Significant Others seminar explaining what life would be like dating/being married to a med student. One piece of advice we received was to cherish the little moments together - this means going grocery shopping just to have some "us" time, going to the gym together, cleaning together -- little bits of time that allow us to stay productive while also spending quality time with one another. It is during these moments that I don't feel "guilty" for neglecting my books to spend time with my husband. And in turn I feel less guilty about "neglecting" my husband when I'm buried in my notes. It's a unique but neccesary way to achieve balance with school & also learn to be a married couple!

I think more than anything, marriage has taught me to focus less on "me" and more about "us." Admittedly, I have been a selfish person at times and on top of that, I'm an only child. Relinquishing my stubborn, "Heather's way or no way" attitude has been been difficult but I think it's helped up become stronger. None of this happened overnight, but marriage sure made me confront some of my shortcomings head on.

Marriage has also caused me to shift my priorities and my thinking. I used to be very caught up in wanting to fit in with people my age and be a "normal" twenty-something - whatever that means. I guess the things that used to be important to me just aren't as much anymore. I find myself caring less about what others think about me (Am I fun enough? So and so doesn't like me...etc.) and more about cultivating quality relationships. The shift in priorities has certainly caused a shift in who I surround myself with which I think is for the best. We've developed great friendships here in Indy and back home and also have a wonderful support system in both of our families, so I couldn't be happier!

Aside from the changes in our relationship, we also have changes in our professional lives! N just recently received a promotion at work (after 5 months at his new location - I'm so proud of him!) so he will be studying for a few more licensing exams. It's nice to have a study buddy, even if it's only for a couple months. His hard-working, ambitious attitude rubs off on me, too. My classes are going better and he makes me want to continue to achieve so we can both be successful.

Fitness

My weight loss has certainly stalled within the past few months. I'm not proud of it but its the truth. I've essentially been gaining and losing the same 5 pounds since the wedding, hopelessly teetering on this 200 lb precipice that I've come to hate.  

I can blame it on school and stress all I want but at the end of the day, I make the conscious decision to skip my workout or grab breakfast on the run (because I hit snooze one too many times). I make the decision to indulge too much because I've had a "hard day" and deserve it, instead of honoring my body with a good workout & a healthy meal.  

This journey would be hard regardless if I'm in school or not so that just isn't a valid argument anymore. It's also going to be A LOT hard to get this weight off once I start rotations in about 9 months. It needs to happen NOW.  

So here I am...recommitting again.   

One year - not the progress I want but it's progress nonetheless.

Fun
Believe it or not, I still manage to have fun :) It's the little pockets of fun that keep me going, like the school Gala two weeks ago. I was lucky enough to have been invited last year and this year and I've certainly never been to an event more fancy than this! The event is filled with community leaders in and around Indianapolis but also celebrates my little school with a pretty rich history! 

It was a great chance to get dressed up and relax before my GI final! I improved my score 7% for my first GI exam so maybe that helped :).  Side note to all you pre-meds/med students: sleep and relaxation make ALL the difference in your exam performance. The nights I stayed up "cramming" for exams were the times I performed poorly. It just isn't worth it!

I found this dress at Macy's - a steal, originally $300 for only $55! I loved the bead work but I think the cut of the dress was all wrong for me. It accentuated my hips/belly without really doing my waist any justice. Oh well...

The Monday of our final exam, we got together with our old Anatomy group (the boys are not pictured here...) for a good old Enchilada night.It was good to catch-up with everyone and relax, not that I don't see these ladies all the time! I never thought I'd walk away from medical school with such an amazing group of friends but I got pretty lucky - and their significant others are pretty great as well! 

*Another side note, I generally try to avoid posting pictures of other people here without them knowing so that's why you don't see them very often.*

Medical School

My atittude towards school tends to wax and wane but lately I've been feeling a little more "down" than usual. I don't regret going to med school. Becoming a physician has been my number one goal since I was a kid but lately I've been feeling quite existential when it comes to school. There are many times I end up asking myself "Why?" even though I know the answer to that question by heart. I feel like my life is missing directed purpose or 

I sometimes get frustrated learning about the intricacies of the human body - all the biochem, physio, micro, etc. because really this isn't the whole story about the patient. Maybe some people are able to accept that the human body is "just" a bag filled with more bags filled with chemicals, answers some test questions and leave it at that. I'm not. I get little joy out of memorizing biochemical pathways or drug mechanisms - it's something I do because I want to be a good, knowledgable doctor (who passes their boards & classes...). Yes, the science is fascinating to some degree but it isn't the whole picture.

My real passion comes from real, genuine interactions with people. Anyone, really - not just patients. I want to know the story behind the "38 year old white male who presents to the ER in moderate distress..." described in my case vingnette. It's not simply enough to get the answer right on a test and move on.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that up to this point, med school has not been very fulfilling for me.  

Let me be clear. I do not hate school.  I enjoy learning and I understand the importance of my time here but I want more than a 30 minute forced encounter with an actor to access my H&P exam skills (which is really my only clinical experience thus far besides volunteering & shadowing occasionally).  I've been reassured by my superiors that it gets better in rotations - things start to click and you start to recognize meaning in everything. That's what I'm hoping for because right now I'm just feeling a little lost. 

To end on a bright note, I'm more than halfway through my semester. I have two more systems courses to conquer - Endocrine/Metabolism & Reproductive System - and then we get Christmas! After that, I'm REALLY looking forward to my second semester - Behavioral Science, Dermatology, & Aging. Then we start an Integration course that will mark the beginning of our official board prep & clinical skills prep after Spring Break. Basically we will be taking everything we've learned and putting it all together! As a big picture person, I can't wait to see what this will be like. Personally, I'm kind of excited to study for boards. I'm much prefer synthesizing information and applying it to new cases (instead of memorizing and regurgitating onto a typical school exam). 

What's good, blogland? First of all, if you aren't watching The Hills retromarathon on MTV because you're at work right now, I feel for ya. I really do. This show just gets better and better every time I watch it. LC is my stupid face making soulmate! And who doesn't have a Jen Bunney or Heidi in their life? In 40 years, we will call this "classic" TV that will forever be in syndication of Lifetime.

This weekend wrap up contains my last "hoorah" before the panicky feeling of moving and uprooting my life begins starts NOW. Two weeks from yesterday, I will throw all my junk in several vehicles and become a resident of Indiana for the next 4-8 years. This isn't like college where I know I'll be coming home on weekends and breaks. This could be permanent.   But I'll save all that anxiety for another post. This is supposed to be fun!

After running some errands on Friday, I started my 4.5 hours drive up to "The Region" or the part of Indiana that claims to be Chicago, much to the chagrin of anyone that is truly a resident of the city. The drive was pretty enjoyable. I went to the library and borrowed several "Now" CD's - Now 9 is pure perfection, by the way. I also got a couple books on CD - Pandemonium & Requiem by Lauren Oliver. I read the first book - Delirium - a few years ago and LOVED it so I'm finishing the series. I'm a huge fan of dystopias and the writing is beautiful. Definitely a must-read for all you fans of The Hunger Games and similar books! Yes, I still read Young Adult fiction. 

A little background - every summer (at least the last 4 years) my close group of friends gets together in someones home town for a fun weekend, usually in the middle of the summer. Now that we've joined the adult world, things are VERY complicated. Work schedules, school schedules, weddings, prior obligations - it's hard to plan anything we can all be at (three of the eight people couldn't make it!). I'm sure it only gets harder from here. 

Our first Girl's Weekend in Cincinnati!

Friday was a relaxing day. We all got acclimated and went to Mexican for margarita's and yummy food. I gave in and had a few margs -  I couldn't resist after that long drive! I also had a few chicken fajita's - yum yum! 

Saturday we packed up the cooler and headed to the Indiana Dunes on Lake Michigan for a relaxing day at the beach! The weather was perfect - low 80's, breezy, and low humidity. The water was beautiful and just the right temp! Unfortunately, I didn't do too well with the sunscreen so now my back is an angry red color. My first (and last) sunburn of the summer. Boo, hiss.

After the lake, we all got showered and dressed for dinner! We went to a cute little pizza place in her town which was perfect since we didn't eat much for lunch - just some snacks we packed for the beach.  

After dinner, we wanted to check out a brewery in our host's town. This is when things went "downhill" in a good way. First of all, the beer was good! We all ordered different things and just shared and took sips of each other's beer. I guess once you're out of college, you start to appreciate more than just Miller Lite. The best part was all the girl talk! It doesn't happen very often where we are all in one place and able to chat for as long as we want - no obligations or places to go. I will miss this like crazy in the coming months...

Sunday morning meant it was time for everyone to go home - all in different directions. The next time we'll all be together will probably be Homecoming in October, if we can even make it! Getting old sucks. Oh - and our friend's mom made us the BEST protein pancakes for breakfast made with cottage cheese and a few other ingredients. I'm totally going to find a similar recipe and try it out at home! 

Now it's time to recover and get to work! I have a long to-do list of things I've been neglecting until now. The biggest issue is purging all the crap from my room - I need to get rid of clothes I don't wear anymore, papers, books, etc. - basically anything that is going to make moving difficult. I want to start school refreshed and renewed! No clutter. Am I the only one who saves old tests and notes thinking I'll go back and use them one day? Probably. 

Have a great week, everyone! And don't forget to enter the Sony Cybershot Camera GIVEAWAY here!

I found the idea for this post on Ash Ann Pow who I found on the last Medical Monday.  What a cute blog!

I think it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day negativity that surrounds us. There are so many jaded, unhappy people who usually unintentionally want to stomp all over your good mood.  I made this list to have something to look at when I have those kind of days. I hope you enjoy and please say some of your own "I believes..."

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I believe that reading a good book can bring peace to your mind.
I believe you can never have enough iced tea with lemon.
I believe laughter can heal any hurt.
I believe in cherishing your friends and family.

My mom, my grandpa, and I

I believe it’s ok not to have all the answers but to keep trying anyway.
I believe someone needs to invent calorie-free ice cream.
I believe in owning far too many nail polishes and makeup supplies.
I believe one day I will fit into my skinny jeans from high school.
I believe in wearing yoga pants or norts 75% of the time.
I believe I will never wear a pant suit for an interview.
I believe in keeping things simple.
I believe that it’s more important to have a few best friends than a million acquaintances.

I believe you should never stop learning.
I believe in traveling the world & experiencing new cultures.
I believe in seeking the best in people even when they may not see it themselves.
I believe it's ok to go out with your friends and drink a little too much.
I believe in the power of a good curling iron and a teasing comb.
I believe pearls and diamonds will never stop being classics.
I believe that I need to keep my body strong and continue to challenge it.
I believe in buy bridal magazines even though I’m not engaged.
I believe your best friend is the one you should spend forever with.



I believe that everyone is beautiful.
I believe that healthcare and education are the two most important issues in our country.
I believe in enjoying a strong margarita & cheap beer equally.
I believe I can get better each day.
I believe in strong women.

I believe in being a girly girl but also knowing when to get dirty & sweat.
I believe in lifting heavy and challenging myself daily.
I believe in God who strengthens me.
I believe a smile is the most beautiful thing a person can wear.
I believe in medicine and the power of healing.
I believe in glitter.
I believe in the Indiana Hoosiers.
I believe in making awkward faces 90% of the time.
I believe I could live exclusively on bread, cheese, and fruit.
I believe I need to work on being more patient.
I believe peanut butter is the food of the gods.
I believe that I will never enjoy sleeping under my comforter and sheets 
I believe that I should be a few inches taller because my feet are so big!
I believe that forgiveness is not easy but necessary.
I believe in working hard and staying humble.
I believe that pink will always be my favorite color.
I believe the best years of my life are still to come.
I believe the best years of my life so far were spent at IU with my best friends.

I believe that I should've been born in the South.
I believe thunderstorms and cuddling are two of my favorite things.
I believe that online shopping is my biggest addiction.
I believe that I'm becoming a runner.
I believe that I will never be a coffee drinker.
I believe in pretending to be creative even when it doesn't turn out the way you want.
I believe that I am so glad I started blogging and connecting with all of you!

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Guest Blogging: I want to let you all know that I'm open for guest posting if any of you are interested!  Anything you want - especially fitness/health related or medicine related. Your ideas are welcome! 

Since Memorial Day marks the true beginning of summer, I wanted to share my Summer Bucket List for 2013!  I’ve hinted at all the things I have planned already but since it's my last summer in Cincinnati for awhile, I wanted to make sure to include some Cincy fun into my summer.  

Here it goes: 

I've already completed a few of these like going to the batting cages but most of them still need to be done. I highly doubt I will get a chance to do all of these things but I'm gonna try!

What are your plans for the summer?
Do you have a bucket list?