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Hello everybody! Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday!

Please go check out my sweet co-host!

Ash @ A Step in the Right Direction

If you're new to the link-up, please leave a comment & say hi!

Once again my plan to write more posts in a week has failed. I blink my eyes and it's already Wednesday!  Let's jump to the weigh in, shall we? To my shock and surprise, I'm the same weight as last week. 

Even since I started doing this link up back in May, I have never shared my actual weight. Within the last few months it became apparent that people I know read the blog which further hampered any desire to share my weight.

It just seems super hypocritical to be the host of a "weigh in" and not share this side of myself. Set backs are made dramatically easier when all I do is provide vague details about my weight loss. I'm still participate in a way that is comfortable for me & I think we all know very little is accomplished when we are "comfortable."

A little background. Two weekends ago, after much frustration, I started looking into going back to Weight Watchers. I joined my senior year of high school, eventually losing 20 lbs before going to college (and then I gained it all back plus 40 lbs more). I know it isn't the plan that helps - points or calories, it's all the same to me. I don't really feel that Weight Watchers teaches healthful habits either but one thing I did enjoy was the accountability. Being a poor medical student, my friend and I decided to be each other's accountability since we are both getting married this summer. We weigh in a Saturday mornings now. So if I can share that deeply personal statistic with her, I think I should be doing it here as well. Without further ado...

Yup. That says 211.8. Now the rest of my stats:

Height: 5'8"

SW: 236.2 lb (yikes)

Loss this week: 0.0 lb

Total Loss: 24.8 lb

I hate this. I've started to share my weight more than a handful of times and I always end up deleting it. I feel ashamed. I feel guilty. I feel worthless. - all because of a stupid number. 

You all are now my accountability, too. I know the number isn't the most important thing which is why I share other aspects of my training but I think it's important for me to be honest with myself about how far I still have to go since I am overweight and I do need to lose more.

These feelings came to a head yesterday during my Intro. to Clinical Medicine class. We just started our Cardiovascular block so we're learning a more in-depth cardio physical exam. Two of my friends were having trouble finding my femoral pulse (which is right in that bikini line area). They called one of the docs over who proceeded to say "You have to press harder on people with 'extra tissue.'" Clearly it was a comment that was meant to be instructive, not malicious. But it stuck with me and it brought up a lot of the comments I've heard my whole life "you have a beautiful face but...you could lose X pounds" and a variety of other weight-related comments. 

I know I should be proud of the progress I've made and even if the scale isn't changing as fast as I would like, I should KNOW I'm changing. But then I get wrapped up in the feelings I described above. I just hope one of these days the pride and strength with predominate the doubt and worthlessness. Am I alone here?

A few more updates:

Last night I had my 5th long run for half marathon training. The weather was pretty great - started out at 48 degrees so I didn't have to layer up too much.  The run, on the other hand, was HARD. I haven't run 6 miles since November when I ran my 10K. I wanted to quit. I wanted to give up. 

Usually after about a mile or two, I find my groove. The endophins kick in and I stop feeling and just run. That moment never really came last night...it was a struggle. I haven't been getting all my short runs in lately which is probably the problem. Since the weather is getting better, my goal is to follow my training schedule to a T this week. 

I'm starting to get scared to run more than 6 miles - I've never done this before! Luckily next week is a fall back week where we just run for 40 minutes so I'll have time to get lots of mileage in before the 7 mile doozy!

Whew...so there it is. Enjoy the rest of your week and make it a great one!

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Hello everybody! Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday!

Please go check out my sweet co-host:

Ash @ A Step in the Right Direction

If you're new to the link-up, please leave a comment & say hi!

Oh you know...just yo-yoing my way through life. 23 pounds lost total. Still trying to lose what I gained last week. Probably due in large part to it still looking like this outside:

Before starting to get down on myself, I decided to look back at how far I've come. This journey has been slower than I ever anticipated but I'm hoping that means it will last. I haven't taken "drastic" action to get where I am today but I've seen drastic changes in my life and my way of thinking. Below is me this summer (June ish?) and me this weekend.

In past weight loss attempts, I didn't do it the right way. I've tried every fad diet and I even had some not-so-healthy habits like severely restricting calories. It works, but clearly I gained it all back.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have to look for the non-scale victories and the progress you have made in all areas of your life in order to stay motivated. I'm letting my progress motivate me to kick it up a notch - there is so much to look forward to and I don't want to continue to be held back by my weight.

In other news, I decided to meal plan this week and prepare a few dishes ahead of time since I have my cummulative Neuroscience final on Monday. It's going to be a doozy. 

Kale & Tomatoes with Onions. I found the recipe on Whole Foods blog
because I had an entire bag of kale that needed to be eaten. It was really good cold although I'm sure you can eat it heated up. Kale is just not my thing so I'll probably stick to spinach in the future.

I also made delicious spaghetti squash with pasta sauce, basil pesto chicken sausage, spinach, onions, and mushrooms! Yummy.

Tonight I have a 5 mile run scheduled for the running club. It's going to be 24 degrees. Is it too much to ask for it to be like 40 degrees soon?  I'm so miserably cold!

Last, I got to play doctor yesterday. We're finishing up our Neuroscience block right now (kill me...I'll review it after we're done). But I did get to be a pretend neurologist and work with a standardized patient to practice my history taking and my neurological exam. I think it went well! I missed a few minor things but hopefully I'll get some great feedback!

So now I start the sprint toward my Neuro final - 3.5 hours, 140 questions and near 100 lectures. I might have one or two mental breakdowns before Monday - just hoping to keep my head above water. In the meantime, keep smiling!  Hope you all had a great week!

Don't forget to link up below and visit your fellow link-upers!

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Hello everybody! Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday!

Please go check out my sweet co-host!

Ash @ A Step in the Right Direction

If you're new to the link-up, please leave a comment & say hi!

This weather is really cramping my style. I have been in the biggest rut ever lately - with school, workouts, and general life motivation. The lack of sun and warmth is really getting me down. I used to be a morning person that could hop right out of bed. Now I struggle with the snooze button and never get up at the time I want. I'm just hoping Spring is just around the corner - I need a break! 

This week I gained 3 lbs after indulging too much during my birthday last Thursday and Nick spending all weekend here and studying for my exam. I'm a mess. After every exam, I gain weight. I eat like crap & I don't get my workouts in which is the exact opposite of what I should be doing! 

I decided to make my own training schedule based on the one provided to me by my run club so I would have something to follow that fits my schedule! I'll share it later this week!

As I said, last Thursday was my birthday so now I'm officially in my mid-twenties -24! I'm old!

Birthday Flowers

Pacer's Game with friends!

Post-exam Fattening Food - it was for my birthday!

My long run was canceled last night so I need to figure out a time to make that up - I tried to run on the treadmill last night and it messes up my stride. My shins started to get really painful so I called it a night. You all already know I hate the treadmill - I'm going to avoid training on it at all costs!

I need opinions! Which of the following invitations do you like best? The photo includes the invite and the response card. HELP!

Don't forget to link up below!

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Hello everybody! Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday!

Please go check out my sweet co-host!

Ash @ A Step in the Right Direction

If you're new to the link-up, please leave a comment & say hi!

Where to start? So much for that post last week...it looks as if my exam schedule is working out to at least one exam every two weeks for the rest of the semester which is bad and good. Good because it means I have less material on each exam (lol riiiight... 30 lectures or so) but bad because the "rebound week" after an exam means catching up on the 6-8 lectures from the week before that weren't on the exam (usually our exam material stops the Wednesday before an exam). Suffice it to say, this semester is turning out to be even crazier than last. Part of the difficulty is that we no longer have Anatomy lab - a) it was nice to get out of the lecture hall and move around for a few hours & b) anatomy lab would be REALLY helpful for our neuroscience course. Oh well, I must press on.

This for hours & hours...

Now for the good news! I lost 5 lbs since last week which brings the grand total to -25.4 lbs lost! I'm pretty ecstatic. I'm soooo close to a new "decade" which I will share with you all hopefully next week. I hate saying the number but I think it will propel me to the goal.

I've been eating pretty darn well - Nick was here this weekend so we did go out of sushi but I'm limited myself to two drinks. We did get pizza the next day (so I cheated on gluten & dairy & cleanness) but I made sure to supplement with an extra tough workout! 

One delicious dinner this week - red beans & spicy chicken sausage on corn tortillas, edamame, and lots of tomatoes! And hot sauce!

I've also been kicking up my running/workouts again as half marathon training has officially begun! I have my first club run tonight at 6pm since last week was canceled due to weather. I'm scared of how cold it's going to be! Hopefully I won't freeze to death.

 For dinner, I had rice noodles with tons of veggies (peppers, spinach, broccoli, onion) with baby shrimp & hot sauce, of course!

Had a little treat - I love these dark chocolate almonds from Trader Joe's! Last night I just did intervals on the treadmill to work on my speed & endurance.

School has really been a rollercoaster lately. There are days when I feel great - I have lots of energy, I feel like I'm understanding the material, and it all seems managable. Then the very next day I feel way behind, I feel like I'm never going to understand everything, and I have no clue how I'm ever going to treat a patient. I just feel sorta of lost. 

...but I know what love is. I love Forrest Gump!

Wedding stuff is getting down to the details - which I dread. We have all the major players in place but now I need to focus on the little things like developing a day-of schedule, picking centerpieces, figuring out who will be doing what, and finding transportation. I HATE details & I hate that I can't devote the time I would like to the wedding. I feel insanely behind on everything. I'm just hoping it will all come together - many of the med students I've talked to have said that you can't focus on the details or you'll drive yourself crazy. I'm trying to take their advice to heart but I feel like that is a HUGE part of this process.

I need your blog topic ideas! What do you want to hear about next? 

What are your goals for next month?

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Hello everybody! Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday!

Please go check out my sweet co-host!

Ash @ A Step in the Right Direction

If you're new to the link-up, please leave a comment & say hi!

Aaaaaand we're back to crazy land again! This week marks week 3 of second semester and I had my first exam yesterday. Whew. So I took the night off last night mostly. Now I need to run off to class but I'll be back with an update soon! 

Link up and share how you're coping with the winter weather where you are! My first long run with the running club here in Indy was cancelled last night because of the subzero temps. I'm really over this snow, slush, and cold temps. It really just makes me want to hibernate!

Hi all! Yes, this makes two posts in two days. It must be a new record :) Today I'm linking up with OliveToRun and completing this fun running survey! I love these so much so if you ever come across any, send them my way!

#1. Would you rather run in a thunderstorm or a snowstorm? 
A snowstorm, although I'm not a big fan of running in the cold yet. I prefer to snuggle up and watch a movie during a thunderstorm.
#2. Would you rather breathe through your nose or breathe through your mouth?
I'm pretty sure I do both but I prefer through my nose because my mouth gets dry. Breathing through my nose also calms me down and keeps me at the correct pace.

#3. Would you rather do 100 squats or 100 crunches? [Now take a break and go do them. ;)] 
I could do squats for daysssss! Crunches don't do anything for me - I already hate working my abs directly so crunches are usually a no-go for me.

#4. Would you rather have a baked good for dessert or an extra serving of your favorite entree?
Probably another serving of the entree. I certainly love sweets but I'd much rather have something savory, salty, crunchy, etc. I love comfort foods like BBQ, meatloaf, pizza, etc. with yummy sides like mashed potatoes. I could probably live without cake and cookies for the rest of my life.

#5. Would you rather run on a treadmill for an hour or run around the same street block for an hour? 
I'd rather run outside, even if the surroundings are less scenic. I HATE the treadmill. I get so bored and I don't think it mimics true running conditions. I've started only using it for incline walking and sprints during my lifting workouts.

#6. Would you rather have a headache during a run or a side stitch?
Headache - I can fix that with a little OMM. (Well, I could probably work on the side stitch too) but side stitches are by far more painful for me.

#7. Would you rather have a rest day on a work day or a day off? I kind of neutral about this but I end up taking a rest day on weekends when I'm busy or go home for the weekend. I like breaking up going to class & studying with a workout just to get out all the pent up energy. (I try to do this but usually I'm pretty hungry by 5pm).

#8. Would you rather be a race director or a race volunteer? I really enjoy volunteering at races! Before I started running, I volunteered at quite a few races including the (half) marathon I'll be running in May. For cheerleading in high school, we would go downtown for the Flying Pig Marathon to cheer on the runners. I really enjoyed it (and every year after I said I would run it one day)! Now hopefully they will be cheering for me :)

#9. Would you rather spend your money on running gadgets [HRM, GPS watch, Headphones] or running shoes? Running shoes! I do want a GPS eventually but I love running shoes. There are so many crazy colors and styles! Thankfully I can usually find size 13s if I order through zappos or amazon. My favorites are the Ascics Gel Blur!

#10. Would you rather run in a relay or do the run portion of a distance triathlon? I want to do both one day! I think both would be fun because I could do it with friends. So far I haven't really had anyone to run with at some of my races so running with friends would be more motivating and enjoyable!

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Hello everybody! Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday!

Please go check out my sweet co-host!

Ash @ A Step in the Right Direction

If you're new to the link-up, please leave a comment & say hi!

Hola, friends! I finally fixed the darn button so here's hoping it worked! (Let me know if not...) No one ever said I was a tech guru...I still can't type to save my life and we've had a computer since I was 6 years old.

So things are looking up. I lost 3.4 lbs this week which brings the total loss to -21.5 lbs. I'm getting close to Onederland!!! My goal is to get there by Valentine's Day. I was at this weight BRIEFLY in November so this is officially the lowest I've been in years. 

I've been doing a pretty good job of limiting gluten and dairy in my diet. I've had a few slip up - wheat and dairy tend to sneak into things unexpectedly. Admittedly, I did have a slice of pizza my roommate made last night as well. 

Over the weekend Nick and I had our food and cake tasting so gluten and dairy obviously snuck in there as well but those were special circumstances. I'm probably eating about 70% clean - still room for improvement but I'm getting there.

Who makes the best eggs and bacon? Me! I made the bacon in the oven and it was UH-MAE-ZING

My workouts were a little sporadic last week, especially with going home to do wedding planning. I think I only worked out twice...OUCH. This week is off to a much better start. My roommate and I woke up at 5:45 this morning and made a trip to the school gym. 

I'm trying to find a good lifting plan - anyone know of any? 

Awkward working out selfies

This was how I felt trying all our yummy wedding food and desserts (Nick's puppy!)

A few other updates - yesterday was our 7 year anniversary! And we have 5 months until the wedding! Life sure does go fast.  

My half training starts officially on Thursday. I picked up my packet last night and it comes with a training plan in addition to club runs on Tuesday nights. I'll try to at least document all my long runs during the program and show how I improve. Right now i'm trying to decide on a few races to run to gauge my preparation before my half on May 4. I'll probably do a another 5K, 10K, and 15K before then.

Have a great week! How are you doing on your resolutions?

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Hello everybody! Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday!

Please go check out my sweet co-host!

Ash @ A Step in the Right Direction

If you're new to the link-up, please leave a comment & say hi!

Here's to a fresh start in 2014! I hope everyone had a relaxing Christmas season/New Year/any other holiday you celebrate but now it's time to get back on track! For the past few link ups, our numbers have been down so I'm hoping everyone was just busy with the holidays. If you love WIW, please share us with your friends. I'm going to fix the link up button finally so hopefully that will help as well!

As for me? I gained a few pounds over the holidays and now I'm back to where I started again and losing. What is my plan for the year?

Right now I'm pursuing a gluten-free & dairy-free clean eating lifestyle change (I hate the word "diet"). You may remember when I did the 10 Day Advocare Challenge back in the summer. I ended up losing about 8 pounds (and kept it off) and I felt great! As soon as I was done though, I had a whirlwind of events that included lots of alcohol, fried & otherwise unhealthy foods - the wedding, trip to Atlanta, baseball games, etc. Then I went off to school. 

So why do this if it appears to be unsustainable in my life? I have a lot of reasons. I know that the proteins in wheat products and dairy products often cause inflammation in our bodies - even if you don't have a full blown intolerance or severe allergy. I also know from experience that I feel better when I'm not consuming these products - I feel full of energy, lighter, more regular, etc. 

I've also read and researched a lot of anecdotal evidence that suggests giving up dairy may reduce or eliminate my acne and keratosis pilaris (those red bumps on your arms and legs...). This is REALLY important to me with the wedding coming up.

Pumpkin oatmeal Pancakes!

This is an experiment. I'm going to eliminate these products as much as possible for as long as possible and see how the results stack up. I'm pretty confident that I will never, ever completely give up dairy products. I think I will always allow myself to indulge in cheesy goodness once in a while. I will probably never totally 100% give up wheat products either - it sneaks its way into sooooo many products that you wouldn't even guess contain wheat. But I will do my best to limit their consumption.

So what do you eat instead? All the things I SHOULD be eating more of! TONS of veggies! I can get almost all my nutrients from a plant-based diet. I'll also throw in some lean meats, fish, eggs, and lots of beans and nuts. (I would be bad at Paleo - I love beans & legumes!). 

I'm cutting my alcohol intake WAYYYYY back. When I look back at Winter Break, I probably drank half of those days. I really don't need it slowing me down while I'm training - or ever. Again, I'm still going to enjoy a drink or two once in a while but I'm really limiting myself. I just don't need it. And those darn craft beers are loaded with calories!

My last bad "meal" - Yes that's a cup of garlic mayo

Long story short, it's all about clean eating! I'm trying not to focus on the things I "can't" have and instead on what I can have and what will make me function at my highest level. 

It's been rough at school so far - we've been piled under a foot of snow so I haven't been able to get my car out yet (I don't have a shovel at school). Therefore, I've been living on whatever I had in my apartment which is pretty much just soup, canned vegetables, a few frozen meals from trader joe's, and exactly ONE apple. I'm all out of fresh fruit (except a jar of prunes & applesauce) and I'm hopefully going to figure a way out of here so I can go grocery shopping!

I start half training officially next week. Until then, I'm just trying to get some type of activity in daily. Starting the day with some stretching/easy yoga and progress from there.  

Time to go study! It's my first day back to school. I'll do a Wedding update later :)

How cold is it where you are?

What's your goal for the week?

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Hello everybody! Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday!

Please go check out my sweet co-host!

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If you're new to the link-up, please leave a comment & say hi!

Happy New Year!

I do not like that 2014 starts in the middle of the week. There is something about starting the year off on a Sunday or Monday that feels more motivating. As such, I'm not "officially" starting to measure my progress until Monday Jan. 6. I need to move back to school, enjoy a weekend in Bloomington, and get settled before I go HAM on these goals.

I didn't weigh in today. Frankly, I forgot it was Wednesday and I was feeling umm....peaked this morning. 

Every single year I feel like I start with the same goal: lose X amount of pounds. Basically this goal is always so vague and so open ended with little to no thought or planning that I usually lose interest or give up.

Of course I still have that magic number in my head but saying "I'll lose 50 pounds this year" NEVER works. What's motivating about a number? It doesn't mean I'm any healthier or happier or able to run longer. It's just a number. 

This year, I want to do things differently. 

I don't want to define my year by a certain number of pounds to lose or some vague unattainable concept. Instead, I'm choosing a theme to incorporate in my life & choosing some specific goals so reach for.

2014 is going to be the year of STRENGTH and GRATITUDE. 

I think by challenging myself physically, mentally, and spiritually, I will continue to grow stronger in all areas of my life. I am capable of more than I know so it's time to get out of that comfort zone! 

I also have so much to be thankful for in my life. I think by focusing on all the great things in my life, I will stay humbled and happier during this stressful time instead of complaining and being a grump.

Goals for 2014:

1. Volunteer somewhere meaningful to me in Indianapolis

2. Continue to be active within school organizations.

3. Finish my half marathon. 

4. Stay focused on WHY we're getting married & not get caught up in the details.

5. Get some type of physical activity daily.

6. Focus on learning because I want to be a good physician, not because I want a certain grade.

7. Make an effort to call my family & friends more often.

8. Blog three times a week.

9. Reflect daily on the things I am grateful for, the progress I've made, and the tasks that still need to be completed.

I will try to do a monthly check in on these goals to see how I'm doing! 

Tomorrow I'll talk more about my training schedule and dietary changes I'll be making this year!  I'll also have some WEDDING updates!

Best of luck with your goals for 2014! 

What will be the highlight of your year? 

What will be the hardest part of 2014?