How fitting that on New Years Eve 2013 I'm writing my 100th Post! I would've reached this milestone months ago had I kept writing during school as I did during the summer but oh well, here we are!

What a year 2013 has been! I turned 23 years old, cared for the elderly in a worthwhile but grueling job, got engaged to my best friend of almost seven years, started medical school, planned a wedding, lost 20 pounds, made amazing new friends, moved to an entirely new city, and started this blog!

Here are five of the best lessons I learned in 2013: 

Medical school was absolutely the right decision for me. 
There were some many times during college, during the application process, and during the past semester, that I wanted to give up & do something else. Why am I doing all this while everyone else is living their lives, making money, and having fun? I've learned that all that hard work really does pay off. I just need to keep going!

Don't waste your time on people you don't respect.
This year I realized that it's time to remove the toxic people from my life. Everyone has those certain people who seem to leech energy and happiness from a others. Instead of constantly feeling awful about yourself when you're around these people, kick them out! Stop talking to this person, texting them when your bored (or intoxicated!), and move on. I know I'm way better off without people in myself who are rude, inconsiderate, or treat me poorly. 

But also forgive people who are worth keeping in your life.
I wouldn't advocate kicking people out of your life just because you've had a disagreement with them or you've lost touch. One of my biggest realizations and a resolution for 2014 is to learn to forgive people and move on. Stop focusing on negative events that happened with someone years ago, accept them for who they are today, and make tomorrow better. If you can't accept them and forgive them, then it's time to revaluate and see the lesson above. Life is too short to hold grudges and be miserable over things you cannot control.

I am way stronger than I ever imagined & I am capable of far more than I hold myself accountable for.
This time last year, I had no clue that I could run a mile, let alone 6 miles or even the 13.1 I'm preparing to run in May. I didn't think I could do hot yoga or lift heavy weights or even go to the gym looking the way I do because people would judge me. I didn't think I was worthy of being healthy, happy, or strong. I was dead wrong. I am capable of so much more than I've ever held myself accountable for.

This realization extends far beyond fitness. So much of my life has been based on what I can do naturally. I never really pushed myself to be excellent. I've always done well in school but I never went the extra mile. I always stopped when I felt uncomfortable... That leads me to another lesson.

Being uncomfortable is a good thing!
Being uncomfortable leads to growth. If you consistently stay in your little comfort zone, you'll never achieve more than what you've always achieved. You'll never known what you're truly capable of until you push yourself.

I hope everyone has a safe & happy New Year. I've never been so excited for a year to start - tomorrow I'll share with you what's in store for me and my goals for the year ahead.

See you all in 2014!

What was the highlight of your 2013?

With almost three months of blogging under my belt, I've been doing a lot of thinking about this blog and where I see it all going. I've made so many amazing connections and blog friends in such a short time. I'm so glad that I FINALLY followed through on something that I've always wanted to do. Yay for going out on a limb!

The problem is that once classes start my priorities are going to shift in a dramatic way. School is going to be my highest priority and there will probably be an adjustment period where I can't blog as much.  I need to hit the ground running with my studying and acclimation to school. 

At the same time, I think blogging is going to be a great way for me to keep in touch with my loved ones and with this community that we are building here. I need this space for accountability, catharsis, and stress relief. I need to read about your lives and your personal journeys. My life doesn't need to completely center around studying medicine. There needs to be a balance. 

Part of this balance is going to be making sure that I'm taking care of myself and my personal needs. Maybe that's why I'm so excited to start medical school - I get to be unapologetically selfish (I'm an only child so I'm pretty good at it). In order to be the best student possible I have to make sure I'm getting my workouts in (for health and for personal sanity) and getting enough sleep and eating healthy so I have the energy and stamina to study my butt off.

I guess my point in all this is that things are going to change around here. I've been trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing and I haven't been focusing on why I started to blog. To add to the confusion, I haven't even really established what kind of blogger I am. Am I a "twenty-something blogger" or a "healthy living blogger? Am I a "medical student blogger" or a "lifestyle blogger"? I'm not really sure which is why things seem to be all over the place right now.

What I've learned the past few months is this: I'm not cut out to follow the unwritten blogging rules. It stresses me out. Numbers and followers and sponsors and giveaways. From now on, I'm doing things my way. Maybe I'll have giveaways, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll keep sponsoring, maybe I won't. I'm writing my own rules. I'm hoping by embracing this notion, I'll be a more efficient blogger and writing will start to be a stress-reliever instead of a stressor (and more fun!). The status quo will  not work once I start school - and that's okay. There are so many bloggers that I look up to and admire but I can't keep comparing myself to them!

I hope you all will continue to stick around even though things might be changing. I hope you will share in my journey through medicine and gain some insight into the life of medical student. Please know that I am forever greatful for the support everyone has shown me thus far!  

Despite the changes in my time and priorities, I will make a few promises to myself and to you. 

1. I'm still going to be posting 3-4 times a week! 

2. My fitness/health journey is going to be a huge part of my writing & will continue to be honest and candid.

3. Medicine is going to take center stage in many of my posts.

4. Weigh In Wednesday is still on!

5. Soon I'm going to start vlogging to save time and just check in!

I'm really excited for the future and I can't wait to see what happens next. Keep doing what you do, blogland and I'll keep trying to keep some balance in my crazy life.

Hello.  You may remember me.  I'm Heather, the owner of this blog and I've been MIA.  What the heck happened?  

I don't have any good excuses like "I was at the beach all weekend" or "I recently came into a large sum of money and I was learning how to invest it wisely."  Nope.  Something more along the lines of, "I am lazy, overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, and highly unmotivated..."  Yeah.  Something like that. Lame.

I am so tired (literally & figuratively) of complaining about being tired.  I'm over it. I work all night and then I'm expected to function normally during the day as well.  I want a normal sleep schedule and I want to never take advantage of sleep ever again.  Sleep, baby, you light up my life.  Please come back and I'll never let anyone hurt you again.

I wish I could say that a few days spent not blogging has left me recharged and renewed.  That's just not the case...I think I'm even more jumbly and cranky than before. I need to blog and tweet and talk to myself on Facebook...it helps me sort things out which you all don't even really see most of the time because I haven't published a lot of what I've written just yet. It's coming, I promise.

I'm stuck in a big runt, partially because my anxiety is back. Without getting into all the intricacies of my life, I'm a naturally anxious person.  I have that insatiable desire to plan and control and make lists and worry about things that are far beyond my control - all at very inopportune times (like when I'm trying to catch up on sleep, for example).  

My anxiety is not something that is big enough to do something about, in my opinion.  Believe me, I've tried. The good news is that I don't completely shut down or cease to function.  I don't freak out or have panic attacks.  I just get fuzzy and filled with excess energy which is usually channeled into thinking and analyzing.  It's like a buzz that won't go away...but I'm learning to deal with it in a natural way.  

Blogging has been a release and an instigator for the anxiety.  I've started to focus on what everyone else is doing with their blogs and I'm beginning to lose sight of why I even started mine.  It leads to a "bigger than my britches" kind of feeling.  I need to slow down and realize that I don't need to do what everyone else is doing. But I still feel the pressure.

There is so much learning left to do about the blog world.  Giveaways and sponsors and guest posting, oh my! There are so many to-dos and not-to-dos and honestly, right now I feel like the new kid at school (with glasses and a sweater vest).  Everyone already has their friends and little blog cliques - it's so intimidating!  Be my friend, k?

Gah.  So that's where I've been.  Hoping for a better week of blogging!

What’s with all the baby talk, people?

I feel kind of really weird even writing this post.  Nick and I aren’t engaged or married but we have been dating for quite some time now (6+ years). At this point, getting engaged is just a formality - we finally know where I'll be going to school, he's been at his first job for almost a year, and it's in the near future (or so he says). 

We’ve had the marriage/babies/let’s-grow-old together talk MANY times throughout the years. So, what’s different is that all of a sudden, other people are bringing this stuff up- mostly the one about babies.

The way people bring up babies is usually in a passing comment that almost goes undetected in the grand scheme of conversation but taken collectively, these instances warrant some attention.  

I mentioned in a previous post that Nick bought a new car.  While taking a family friend for a quick spin around the neighborhood, the friend said something about the car being spacious with the backseat having enough room for car seats. WHOA. Did you just say car seats?  Then another friend said something about enjoying his new car now because before long, he’d be buying a mini-van. These are just a few of the comments...

Now before we get too ahead of ourselves...I love babies!  I love children of all ages and stages - minus teenagers. I could careless about them but I think most people would agree with that.  I’ve been babysitting and nannying and camp counseling since I was 13 so I am extremely comfortable with these adorable tiny humans.  But the thing that makes all of these activities so great is that at the end of the day, I get to give them a quick hug and relinquish them back to their parental units who unconditionally love and adore them. 

The problem is, I am entirely too selfish to have children right now and most days, I can barely take care of myself.  While I know the baby comments are being made with the future in mind (i.e. being married), it’s just a little shocking to hear all of a sudden. 

Recently I met a woman who was visiting from the South. She asked a little about me and we chatted for a bit until she asked if I was married or had children.  My response was, “Oh no...I’m only 23!  I’m too young to be married and have kids.”  This woman just started laughing and said, “Honey, when I was your age I already had three kids!”  I’ve actually had multiple conversations like this which usually end up with me looking foolish and judgmental. 

I want to have it all...just not right now.

The funny thing is, I never envisioned having this outlook on the subject of babies.  I always wanted to get married young and have babies young. I didn’t want to be an “old” mom like so many of my friends’ moms.  I wanted to be able to have the closeness in age that my mom and I have. 

On top of that, there is no “good” time to start a family while in medical school or residency.  Sure, there are times that are “better” but on the whole, adding to an already stressful period of your life is never going to be easy or comparable to someone not pursuing this field of work.  I guess this fact has daunted me to the point where all this baby talk has me thrown for a loop. 

I would be afraid to start a family knowing that a) I would not get to spend as much time with him/her as I would like, b) I would end up neglecting my school work and thus lower my chances of entering my residency and career of choice, and c) I would add to the stress, sleeplessness, and anxiety that already comes with med school and parenthood separately.  

The few woman doctors I’ve talked to have told me to wait until after residency to start a family.  Well geez...by then I’ll be 30 or 31.  I can hear that biological clock ticking already...that isn't gonna work for me either.  I really do want a family - just not now.

I don’t know what the right answer is or what the correct timing will be - like always, I’ll probably just wing it when the time comes.  I’ll just have to accept the fact that I’m behind the curve when it comes to marriage and babies. There are so many people in my med school class that already have children - maybe it will put me ahead of the curve? Less distractions. Who knows?!

 In the meantime, can we stop all the baby talk and just let me enjoy other people's kids for awhile longer?