I'm stuck. I hit a wall today that I just can't seem to get over - this whole finding a balance in medical school thing is much harder than I thought. I figured the first few weeks would be an adjustment but I thought maybe after the first set of exams, I would find my groove. Instead I feel like I'm constantly balancing five stacks of dishes, trying to keep them all in the air and not hit the ground.
When I work on one area of my life, all I can think about is how the other areas of my life are suffering. For instance, I spend x amount of hours on Anatomy review which means I'm behind that many hours in Scientific Foundations. If I take the time to workout, I'm missing study hours. When I study, I end up neglecting my health, time with friends and family, or my duties in my club involvement. When does this all become manageable?
Sometimes I feel like taking a year off after college really crippled my work ethic. Despite working long, hard hours as a CNA, I didn't really have many other obligations. I forget how to use my time wisely and work efficiently (like I said in my latest vlog). I just feel really overwhelmed and don't know where to start!
On top of that, I feel like my classmates and I spend an enormous amount of time complaining and commiserating. It can get downright depressing after a while. I hate being whiny for many reasons. 1) I chose this path. Medicine is what I've wanted to do my whole life so there's no reason for me to sulk about making sacrifices and working hard. Reaching my goals isn't going to be easy. 2) Complaining about everything makes me feel weak, like I can't handle it or I'm not mentally tough enough to get through this. 3) It isn't productive.
So...in other news, tomorrow is FRIDAY! (And I still haven't done my day in the life post. I meant to do it Monday or Tuesday but I forgot about halfway through the day (see...can't keep up with anything!). I even got dressed up for ya'll!
Oh yeah, and Sweatember is back in action! (BTW, loved the lady who suggested "Rocktober" for my next challenge).
I haven't made much progress since August...very frustrating. Help me! I need good arm workouts!
It was my second time doing Les Mills Body Pump at the gym and I like it so far - skimpy on the weight though :(
And a pretty run along the White River/canal area in downtown Indy!
Tonight, I went to a circuit training class which turned out to be an hour of tabata workouts. If I'm unable to walk tomorrow, I won't be surprised! It was INTENSE and not at all enjoyable. I felt like I was being yelled at the whole time which is only ok when Jillian Michael's does it!
Nick is coming up to Indy on Saturday so we can do some more wedding planning - we're hoping to have a date nailed down and venues here very soon!
Last but not least, 2 MONTHS until my first 10k with my girl, Marcy at The Mustache Diaries! I can't wait to meet her and to do this thing!
I can totally relate to this! Even with the transition from grad school to the working world, I still feel like there's never enough time. It's always about prioritizing, but for me, sometimes it's incredibly hard to figure out what is the most important thing! Should I put exercise first because I know I want to lose weight and become more healthy or do I go focus on work and keeping my life together? Sending you good thoughts - hopefully things will figure themselves out soon!
ReplyDeleteJust keep swimming honey! I admire you for all that you do and I know it's so hard right now... these are the days that you'll back on after med school is over and say "I can't believe I made it through!" But you will... keep showing up and be kind to yourself, while understanding and forgiving yourself when you just can't accomplish it all! Chin up, buttercup! xo
ReplyDeleteI've been stuck since August too! I made a similiar transition (although I'm sure my education classes are NOWHERE near as hard as yours) But from Community College to ASU in a specialized program and WOW its allot of work! I feel like i'm constantly swimming in homework, studying and projects and I'm lucky if I workout twice a week! I like your attitude of not complaining though, I'm going to copy you and start not complaining as well lol! Have a good weekend!
ReplyDeleteLove love love Body Pump!!! SUCH a fantastic workout!
ReplyDeleteOh I have the desire to constantly crib about my life as well. Some courses are harder than others and just don't let you live in peace but if you wanted to be this from as long as you can remember then I think it's worth the fight. :) Nice post!
ReplyDeleteI have such a hard time with managing everything I need to do, so I can't even imagine how difficult it is with you in medical school. I hope and pray that you find a good balance, soon.
ReplyDeleteLove your cute outfit :)
Thanks for sharing! I think for being as busy as you are, maybe it's good to just write and not worry about having everything all planned out -- after all, isn't the rest of your life?
ReplyDeleteAnd also, you're right: we only have a certain amount of hours we can give to things. Something's gotta give. But also know that changing things up and having variety also gives us MORE energy to do those things. So yes, you could be studying for Z while you are doing X, but know that if you do Y, you might have more energy and positivity to get you through both of those things (does this make sense)?
As for complaining, I guess just monitor when you feel like it's crossing the line. Sometimes you need to vent and then sometimes you're keeping yourself down and back. If you notice that, be the change you wish to see in the world. You have the power to redirect those conversations or look at the brighter side or be more positive or at least grateful. You have the power to change how you are speaking and likely how the conversation around you is going. Try doing it in a natural way, or acknowledging the negative before proceeding. "I totally understand that this is a bummer, you're right! But at least it will be over in a couple of days! And when it's done, we'll get X for knowing it!" <-- just an example!
:))) Well, I'm rooting for you and I hope you find some sort of balance. It may not look like balance on the surface or to anyone else, but I hope you find what works for you. :)